Have you ever seen something so heartbreaking and unfair it makes your blood boil? Well maybe I’m over reacting or I have too soft a heart. Maybe I was so angry I couldn’t sleep because there was nothing I could do in the long term that would fix the problem. Let me explain.

My girlfriend had surgery this past week and spent some time in hospital. I won’t use names or where in the Okanagan this took place. In her ward was a ninety-two year old woman that has no one who cares about her. Staff did what they could but their hands are full as it is. She needed a little human attention and someone to be kind to her. I couldn’t watch emotional suffering so I took it upon myself to at least acknowledge her existence.

Her name is Olga, she is ninety-two years old. She is in hospital with a stomach ailment. She has a son visiting in Palm Springs and two grandsons who don’t come to visit her. She used to be a choir director but she wouldn’t say where. Or perhaps she didn’t remember she is very frail.
I sensed she was struggling emotionally holding back tears. All the other patients had visitors and she watched from behind her curtain. Her face lit up when I spoke to her and she started to cry. What I learned made me want to cry, I couldn’t I was trying to make her feel better.

I learned she is lonely, she feels abandoned, at times frightened and she wants to go home or just die. I know things are not always what they seem but what kind of society have we created? My mother has been gone for twenty-five years and I still miss her. I don’t know about you but if my mother was ill at 92 with a serious ailment and endless tests I’d be on the first plane home. As for the two grandsons, I suppose we can’t teach caring, either you have compassion or you don’t I guess.

Some families make a production out asking their elderly relatives what they want for Christmas. For most, things don’t matter. If the younger family members spent more time it would be the best present money can’t buy. If you see someone you think is lonely or has no one acknowledge them.

As for me I sometimes think the winter draft is created by kids, grand kids and great grand kids coming and going but I’m not complaining. Seeing the stark reality of the alternative brought significant trouble to my heart.

Yes we have a pandemic, we have fire survivors and flood ravaged communities and I feel for all who have lost all they had. Surely we have not lost too much compassion to spare a few moments with someone on the far end of life who has no one or in this case family that doesn’t care. I think we can all stop and recognize that the Christmas Season is more than being about things.

I thought I would share this with you in the hope that together we might be more community aware and just maybe we can recognize all the other Olga’s in our midst that need a little attention and individually we can brighten someone’s day.

Fred Steele