by Jessica Murphy

 

I was feeling sorry for Alberta—you know, all the issues with gas and oil production being a no go anymore—when I remembered:  this is Canada; we have Equalization Payments.  That’s when the rich provinces chip in to help out the needier provinces.  So all Canadians are economically equal.  

Then I began to wonder.  Which province would be so well off right now it could share with its poorer family members?

Quebec and/or Ontario?  Don’t think so.  They never share with anyone, although their hands have been out on more than one occasion.  Quebec just got itself invited to COP 21 by 1) pretending it is a real nation, and 2) by letting the world know that it is putting an end to gas and oil production.  Good feint.  Quebec has no gas and oil extraction.  And nowadays it does not even allow pipelines from other provinces to move fossil fuels through its territory.  No help from there.  

Ontario?  Together with Quebec these two have been the forever favourites of a loving parent in Ottawa.  As in any unbalanced family, they get all the goodies, leaving even less for their brother and sister provinces. Yet, if they don’t get what they want, expect, always have received, they get pouty.  And, of course, that little temper tantrum usually gets them what they want, which is always more.

What about Newfoundland Labrador?  Over the last twenty years we have been hearing about how good things are there.  But apparently the oil extraction off the Grand Banks is not going so well.  They are overdrawn on their plans by many billions.  And, even worse, is the fact that the usual remittances from the sons (and daughters) of NL who used to work in Alberta’s oilfields have no longer got jobs.  No more money being shipped home, and all those Newfies lying about, at home, on EI.  

Alberta’s fellow prairie province, Saskatchewan?  It is having its own gas and oil woes.  And grain production troubles.  Even when the farmers do get in a crop, the railway system we have left is not sufficient to get the grain to market.  Saskatchewan has one unique resource—potash—but I bet Greta has given a speech or two about the inherent filthiness of that mineral.

So, BC?  This province has always been a cash cow, what with our mining, forestry and tourism.  All big money makers.  Oh.  Gosh.  I forgot.  Our tourism is at rock bottom, given COVID and now the USA not allowing its cruise ships to dock here.  They have to go right on to Alaska.  Although they are still using our inside passage which proves a hazard to our local shipping and our environment.  Perhaps we should suggest they stay west of Vancouver Island.  That would cause so much seasickness—even on luxuriously outfitted ocean liners—that they would start to run for the safety of Vancouver and Victoria.  

Logging?  Not after this year.  We have just heard that the cut limit on certain forests will mean the closure of at least fourteen mills, and the loss of jobs for some 4000 forestry workers.  No help there.

Mining?  Mining used to be BC’s second most valuable industry, after forestry.  But when was the last time you heard of a mine opening up in BC?  Can’t be done.  Too many protesters, First Nations regulations and requirements, and apathy from the general public.  Unless you are a Chinese collective.  Then you get to open a mine, but of course, all the miners come from China, get paid by China, and return all profits to China.  (Don’t believe me?  Check it out.)

So, BC, although historically a good neighbour, is in no position to assist Alberta.     

Umm.  The north has never contributed, but always taken.  Not their fault I guess.  

Manitoba and the maritime provinces have never been in a position to contribute.

The federal government has paid out so many billions (trillions, really, but who knows how many zeros that is.) that it is not in a position to help, even if it wanted to, which is in doubt given the bad air between Jason Kenny’s government and the Trudeau Liberals. 

But we do still have Equalization Payments, don’t we?

Just when Alberta needs them, we do still have equalization Payments, don’t we? 

Or will Ottawa cancel them until Ontario and Quebec can prove neediness?