THE EXTENDED FAMILY
When I was growing up children were not encouraged to use first names when addressing an adult. It was always Mr. or Mrs. so and so, or if the people were well known to your family, you were asked to address them as auntie or uncle.
As a result of this most kids had lots of aunties and uncles who were not related to the family. However, if an adult was a senior citizen, they reverted back to Mr. or Mrs.
The result of this extended family meant that children were expected to help with chores for other people, mainly running errands, sweeping walkways or bringing in coal. Because of this, our generation was brought up to be helpful. We may have resented this draw on our time but knew it was expected, so never really thought it an imposition.
Schoolchildren paid half the adult fare on the bus but were expected to give up a seat if an adult was standing. This was an unwritten rule and if you were travelling alone and did not offer your seat, you were guaranteed a poke in the back from the person behind you, to remind you to stand.
I know that times have changed but is being helpful a thing of the past and outdated? I really don’t think so and think that young people should still be made aware that their younger, stronger legs can be of service to a senior who is carrying a heavy load.
Each of our four daughters was brought up to think of others and they are all helpful, however only two of them expect their children to help out. Half of my grandchildren help around their home, have definite chores to perform and if needed they are expected to help grandparents with weeding or helping move yard waste or other stuff. They get spending money but are encouraged to earn extra by doing extra chores.
The other grandchildren, all in their early twenties, sit on their butts while their mothers, who work outside the home, carry in groceries, load and unload dishwashers, cook meals and do laundry. A couple of these young people don’t have jobs as they have not decided what they want out of life, but their parents seem happy to let them lounge around for years on end.
I find it hard to keep my lip buttoned but it is not my business how my children raise their offspring, so I keep quiet. Watching my daughters treat their kids like guests who should be waited on is very difficult so I prefer not to visit too often. When we do visit I treat everyone to dinner out so mom can get a rest from caring for the whole group.
It is very hard not to comment on why expensive phones, computers and other non-essentials are bought for these loafers. If you don’t work or help out, no treats, would be my attitude, but then again, I am of a different generation!
Each of our daughters had little jobs, while still at school, either baby sitting or some weekend job that gave them extra spending money. When questioned now, they say they appreciated having to earn their own “extras”, and it made them appreciate the value of money.
We parents both worked but, even so, we rarely had extra money for treats. All the family got good food, good clothing and all their school needs for field trips, etc. but our entertainment was mostly drives to local lakes and a picnic, as this is all we could afford. Camping was our holiday and we all enjoyed it, we went to different beaches each day with food, books and swimwear and spent hours enjoying the ocean or exploring tidal pools followed by reading.
All of our girls look back on these holidays with great memories and never felt we scrimped to make these excursions happen, only now do they realize now how little money we had to spend.
I feel some of my grandchildren are going to go into their lives thinking the world owes them a living. How will they manage in the work place when they cannot even get up to get a glass of water? Is mom going to go with them and pave the way? I think not. These parents are not doing their kids any favours by not preparing them for the working environment. These are my feelings but, then again, I am of a different generation and maybe I am wrong.