Doing Lunch

One of the biggest things I miss about this social distancing thing is not going out to eat. I love “doing lunch”. It is my favourite thing to do, a chance to meet with one or more friends and have a great time exchanging ideas, complaining about the little irritations of life and eating something made by other hands than mine.

Girls (of any age) get togethers are a necessity for most women, not particularly just for the nourishment of our bodies but also of our souls, there is something about being with girlfriends that allows us to get rid of our frustrations, whilst knowing we will not be condemned for our words.

Lunches out also mean that I usually get to take some of my meal home and enjoy it again for dinner or the next day’s lunch, my frugal nature insists that my money be well spent. Yes I really miss not going out for “girl time”. However, this kind of enjoyment is really a joy not enjoyed by many generations.

Our grandmothers and most of our mothers did not know the joy of girlie lunches, neither did they enjoy the luxury of take out meals, delivered to the home. As a child, and then a mother, the only meals eaten away from home were picnics, either on the beach or in the park, or a visit to the home of a relative. The idea of going to a restaurant or actually paying for a stranger to deliver food to our home was completely foreign.

My husband and I would usually enjoy the treat of going out for dinner on our anniversary, this would need much preparation and organization. First had to be the necessary money to do this, on our tight budget this was a big factor. Next would be arranging for grandma to baby sit. Never would we have even dreamed of paying someone to come into our home and watch our children, even if we could have afforded it, an outsider would not be trusted to watch over our family.

Grandma’s in those days usually didn’t drive and we didn’t own a car, so it meant she had to travel on the bus and usually stay overnight so she didn’t need to travel home alone at a late hour. Children were bathed and ready for bed, before the arrival of grandma, the house would be tidied so she wouldn’t be disappointed with our housekeeping and treats were baked or chocolates bought for her evening enjoyment.

Lastly, I had to have my hair done and take special care of what I wore as this was probably my only special outing of the year. When all was considered, the night out was probably not worth the expense and trouble of arranging it, but it was something we felt we needed to do to show that we knew how to celebrate now and again. The evening was usually less enjoyable than we pretended as the food was quite often not terrific and at the back of my mind would be the worry of the kids misbehaving for grandma.

Never would the idea of meeting for coffee in a café, or even to drop in on a friend, be considered. The nearest thing to this would be to visit a friend at home, for an afternoon cup of tea and a slice of home made cake. The English formality always meant that it would involve a definite invitation and a time of arrival. However, my best friend and I would regularly pack up a picnic so we could have an informal lunch in the park with our children. This could be a very casual affair where the children could run and play while we had our get together. Here we could discuss our problems with husbands, children or finances and know that our confidences would be respected. We could hash over our similar difficulties and laugh at our problems, this would enable us both to go home with a new look at life and a much lighter heart.

It is necessary to laugh at ourselves sometimes, to realize that or worries are generally not as great as we imagine, when kept in the privacy of our own heart and mind. I don’t believe that men have this ability to open up in total honesty, to a friend, maybe this is why they have heart attacks and quite often die younger. Maybe we really need the ability to share problems, in order to minimize them.

Luckily we still have the convenience of the phone to talk things over but this doesn’t really serve us half as well as face to face over a lunch table. We all really need to urge our acquaintances to toe the line, practice social distancing and really try harder to combat the spread of this disease. Too many people are still taking a casual approach and not really taking the care needed to fight this problem. Surely it is better to concentrate our energies into fighting this problem than pushing the boundaries, stay home and urge friends to do the same, that was we can all be able to stop the spread of this virus and, once again be able “do lunch”.