THE SEVEN CENT CHEQUE

 

It was quite a while, many years in fact that I used my American Express card. I probably got it when I first became a member of Costco, or as it used to be called, Price Club.

So for the past, I don’t know how many years, I have received a statement by mail, every three months. The statement always says the same thing, credit balance $0.07!

So, about a month ago I decided that enough is enough, I don’t use the card, it is time to cancel.

I phoned the Customer Service 800 number and spoke to a nice lady. ‘Hello, I would like to cancel my card, I haven’t used it in years and have no intentions of using it again’

‘Certainly sir, can I have your name and I want to confirm your mailing address’

‘Well I think you have my correct address as you are sending me statements every 3 months’

‘But I still have to confirm it’ she said.

‘And now I need your card number’ , I gave it to her and I was greeted with: ‘Oh, you have a credit of seven cents, we have to send it to you’

I hesitated for a moment and said ‘Keep it’,

‘Oh, we can’t’ she said’ We have to send it back to you’

‘I don’t want it, keep it’ I said

‘Oh no, we will send you a cheque Sir’

Is she for real, she is going to send me a cheque for seven cents, I don’t believe it!

A week or so later, a letter arrived in the mail, it was from American Express. With trembling hands, I carefully opened it and there for all to see was a cheque for seven cents.

There it was, cheque number 52012286, sequence number 012286. Gross amount 0.07, discount amount 0.00, complete with two signatures!

It came in an envelope with a printed 85 cent stamp!

I posted it on Facebook asking what I should do with it.

‘Frame it’ many people said

‘Send it back’ someone else said.

‘Yup, frame it as a reminder of the smartest thing anyone can do with an Amex card’

‘Don’t spend it all at once’

‘Penny for your thoughts’

‘Don’t deposit, …it may bounce and your bank will charge a $75 NSF fee’

‘Leave it for the kids’

‘Frame it as a monument to the monumental idiocy of bureaucracy’ said Lorraine.

So now the cheque is pinned to the wall behind my computer monitor waiting for a decision on it’s fate.

***

Two weeks later!

A statement arrived in the mail! American Express!

Previous balance -0.07

New balance $0.00

Your account is cancelled. Please pay the minimum due by the payment due date. Thank you.

***

Then two days later!

Important notice of changes to the American Express Air Miles credit card.

Dear Sir/Madam,

You are receiving this notice because our records indicate that you recently cancelled your American Express Card. We are notifying you of changes being made to the card if you have an outstanding balance, or if you request and if we approve reinstatement of the card.

From – preferred rate for purchases 19.99%

To  preferred rate for purchases20.99%

Effective February, 25, 2020

Please contact us if you have any questions!

 

I wait in anticipation for the next letter from AMEX