I learned a lot of things this past week after what could be described as one of the worst weeks of my life with the passing of my wife. I am not going to dwell on the sad parts of the experience though. No I want to talk about how much hope I have for the younger generations coming behind us older folks.

I want to talk about the unyielding strength of family and even extended family. I want to mention how good our medical system really is.

Our family sewed itself together like a finely woven blanket. Whatever needed to be done was done without hesitation. The children the grandchildren and even the great grandchildren participated in the hospital room vigil and conversation. What struck me was, how much influence my wife had in their day to day lives. She shared stories from the past of what life was like, she took a personal interest in their growth as individuals.

I silently listened to their comments and what they remember most. What really struck me was a conversation I had with an eight year old. My great granddaughter Summer. She had a perspective on life and how people grow up and pass on their knowledge and someday she would be a grandma too.

The older grand kids all have professional careers or careers in the trades and no one has seen the inside of a courtroom. They are respectful, they have ethics and strong opinions on right and wrong. I got to thinking about the view, the younger generation is falling short. After what I saw under pressure and stress was not a generation wanting. Perhaps we are the ones with short comings for not seeing what their value really is. And sometimes we are ignoring our own failures when they call our generation to account for past shortcomings.

It is then I started to wonder is this our family or the majority of families who are so close knit? We are not perfect but we are fortunate to have a bench strength as it were when it comes to being there for each other. I started thinking about families with members not on the same page. There are so many families where they don’t speak or are holding a grudge and in some cases can’t even remember why.

When that happens we are short changing ourselves, we are short changing our children or grandchildren as well.

It was a coincidence but on Saturday night one person in our family who is as stubborn as I am, picked up the phone and called. We had not said a word to each other in five years and that ended with the ringing of the phone. It also reminded me sometimes good things come from less than ideal situations.

Last but not least. The hospital in Kelowna has a wonderful team of dedicated people who not only look after the sick. They couldn’t have done more for us if they tried. They brought in extra beds for those on the overnight vigil as we promised Joan would not be left in the room alone in her final hours. From now on it will be hard for me to listen to people complaining about the medical system. KGH and the medical staff are sincerely about people from Doctors and Nurses to the front line staff.

Family emergencies and tragedies, leave their own mark in words for me it is this “The darkness of the coldest night always precedes the sunshine of the warmest day.”

Fred Steele

Editor’s note – Fred is the former head of the BC Fruit Growers and a former radio man