THE GRINCHES WHO STOLE HALLOWEEN

 

Darkness was fast approaching as she pulled the blinds down and closed the drapes. The only light was in their bedroom, where they were dressing to go out. He was wearing a suit and tie, while she was dressed in a long skirt and elegant, sequined blouse. Reservations had been made at a secluded restaurant several miles away. They looked forward to the drive and dinner, but mainly to their planned escape from the charade of Halloween night.

Halloween as described by the Oxford dictionary: the eve of All Saint’s Day. What is saintly about letting children go door to door begging for candy? And, conversely, teaching them to not speak to strangers the other 364 days of the year? What about parents actually driving youngsters away from their own areas to perceived more affluent neighbourhoods for better “loot?” What subliminal message does this give?

Will Halloween spawn chemical engineers or chemists, so they may understand the listed ingredients in candy bars and licorice? Sodium bicarbonate, citric acid, calcium chloride, soy lecithin to name a few, plus all candies come complete with artificial colours. This stuff is to be begged for at strange doors?

The parents allow consumption of the chemical candies, although some will first cut them open, looking for straight pins or concealed razor blades. Even homemade popcorn balls and candied apples are subject to scrutiny. These may be more wholesome treats, but did the cooks wash their hands during preparation? Lick their fingers? Is that powdery white stuff sugar or ground up aspirins? Could there be cannabis in the Gummi bears?

Then there are the bizarre, or supposedly cute, costumes made of flammable material, all sold at the same stores alongside the chemical candies. And frightened animals, and firecrackers that can burn. She and her husband wanted no part of this bizarre evening. They were going out. He started the car, while she turned off all the outdoor lights. Yes, the best thing about Halloween is

NOT being home.