THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT
I have always enjoyed watching scary movies and reading psychological thrillers. Things unknown, not gory, but ghost stories and things that have a slight chance of being true, just enough to make me scared of dark corners.
When we were first married we had an old home that was a real “fixer upper”. No indoor bathroom, just a kitchen sink with cold water. Bathroom facilities were down the yard which is somewhere I was too scared to go at night. This meant that trips to the facilities meant that Dave had to go too. A journey he really resented taking, however he grudgingly did his marital duty.
He refused to go all the way with me but would stand on the back step and wait. Unsure that he still stood there, I would ask him to talk to me or sing. Dave has no fear of the dark and really thought this was ridiculous and caused quite a bit of arguing and whining on my part to get him to agree.
One night he thought it would be funny to play a trick on me, which could have really backfired on him. We had watched a movie about a mad pianist who used to kill people. It turned out that his hands used to go off on their own and strangle people. Yes I know, completely ridiculous, but it was scary to watch. We had done the trip down the yard routine and I had survived the journey so set off upstairs to bed.
Most English houses have bedrooms upstairs and ours was no different. We went up nine steps, reached a landing where the stairs took a ninety degree angle and continues with another four steps to the top. I was very pregnant at the time, so I slowly climbed the nine steps and rested before turning the corner. As I turned I saw the murderous hands resting on the top step! Without giving myself time to think about this I jumped to the bottom of the nine steps, landing on my hands and knees at the bottom.
As I lay there trying to get my breath back, there was Dave hysterically laughing that his joke with the leather gloves had been successful, they had got the desired effect and really scared me. He soon stopped laughing when he realized that both I and our unborn child could have been seriously hurt and it took me a while to really forgive him for the episode.
Much later in life and our four children were all in school but my reading habits had not changed. I had borrowed a book from a workmate which I was supposed to return the following day. I wanted to finish the book so stayed up late to do this. It was mid summer so I was sitting by the open deck door, all lights off except one reading lamp as everyone was in bed and I didn’t want to disturb anyone.
The screen to the door was closed and I heard a noise so turned to see one of our cats pawing at the door with what looked like a big leaf in her mouth. I let her in and she dropped the leaf, which was actually a live bat. Being released from the jaws of doom, the bat took off and flew/crawled up the stonework of the floor to ceiling fireplace. I screamed with the surprise of the movement which woke up one of my daughters. She came out of her bedroom spotted the bat and also screamed.
In less than ten seconds all four girls were in the kitchen screaming at the bat, which was about three inches long and not likely to attack any of us. Dogs were barking and all four cats were running round in panic, all adding to the din. Dave’s parents shared our home and were woken with the ruckus. Dave’s dad was over six feet but extremely thin, he came charging up the stairs to see what the heck was going on. He was dressed in his tidy whiteys and waving a dish towel, which I guess was his hunting attire. He took instant stock of the situation, flicked the towel at the bat so it fell to the ground, was picked up in the towel and returned to the great outdoors.
By this time Dave’s mom had also arrived on the scene so I got the girls back to bed and the three adults had tea to settle our nerves and have a good laugh. Meanwhile the master of the house, 6ft 3inch, 220 lbs Dave, slept through it all. My Hero!!!