I woke up one morning not feeling too swift but managed to get dressed and have breakfast and started to head out the door to work.  For some reason my face felt really odd and I was hot and sweaty and really felt out of sorts.

I was living in Kelowna and working at the Credit Union. I phoned my Boss and told him that my face was swollen, my neck too and he told me to stay home, phone the Doctor and stay AWAY from him because it sounded like I had the mumps.  I told him that was impossible.  I had them when I was little..at least on my left side.  It dawned on me at the moment that I probably did have the mumps because this time I was swollen on the right side.

I phoned my Doctor and he said he would stop to see me on the way to the hospital as mumps are highly infectious and by the way, Brenda, he said….do you have any dill pickles?  Yes, I said..why?  Go and have a pickle.  If you cannot chew it because your mouth and throat are all tightening up..YOU HAVE THE MUMPS!

The “pickle test” was to determine if a child had the mumps. Since the mumps causes the salivary glands to become tender and swollen, when someone with the mumps eats or drinks something acidic, the pain becomes worse. The theory was that if you give a pickle to a child with the mumps, you could tell that it was the mumps just by the look on their face!

I hung up the phone and went to the fridge and picked a very nice dill pickle…I love pickles.  Took a bite and my mouth scrunched up and I could feel this terrible ache..no way could I chew that pickle..crap..like I need the mumps.

Dr. Nash arrived in about a half hour after our phone call and took one look at me and chuckled sort of…yup…you have the mumps…now…one side effect for women in their adult years is the mumps can move…seriously?  Where in the heck would they move to?

As he explained I had this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach…they often affected women’s breasts so if you start to feel like they are swollen, let me know..not much I can do for you but lots of fluids and rest.

Sure enough by dinner time I had the kind of bosom that I had always dreamed of.  They were pretty swollen and very tender.  For the next four days I lounged around the house with one arm under my very sore bosom and an ice pack on my neck…boy, mumps were sure as heck no fun to have as an adult.  Talking and eating were difficult because I was unable to open my mouth very wide.  The name Mumps comes from the word “mompen” to mumble and mumble I did.

My boss phoned every morning for an update and wanted me to take a picture of my new figure….you can guess what I told him to do!  LOL

I tell this story jokingly because in a way it was kind of funny but feeling sick was not too funny and as I had a hard time eating I was crabby because I was starving…soup just does not cut it for four days.  I could hardly open my mouth for soup and was just dying for a cheeseburger and fries.  As soon as I was well again, it was off to the Dairy Queen for two cheeseburgers, a large fries, chocolate shake and a banana split…I said I was hungry, didn’t I?

Moral of the story…we had no vaccine when I was a child so make sure your kids get both vaccinations for the Mumps…they ain’t a lot of fun to have!!