As a caterer I spend a lot of time in my commercial kitchen.  Rules for this type of kitchen require they not be attached to the home so, once I am in there, I am completely separated from the house.  To keep myself company I watch tv.

Dave installed this for me to keep my happy and this is the place where I watch a lot of, what Dave describes as, Drivel.  This is mindless tv which requires no particular concentration, just something to keep me from feeling isolated.  Here I watch rather silly programs, not appreciated by my other half.

One of these is “Say yes to the dress”, located in an expensive, New York bridal store.  Not for the blushing brides of this store are bargain hunters as the gowns are in the thousands of dollars, not hundreds.  It is amazing how much girls, or their parents, are willing to pay for a dress that will be worn for a few hours.

I can understand that this is a very special day and you want a very special dress but the cost of the gowns would make a deposit on a home.  Even as a teenager I could not see spending that sort of money for one day.

What really amazes me is that many of these “brides” have lived with their partner and have several children before they make the decision to get married.  Why then do they need the huge gown and big ceremony of a fancy wedding?  Why not take the kids for a nice vacation and get married on the beach?

I think back to our wedding day, a bit of a comedy really, and one day I do not look back on with stars in my eyes.  I was nineteen, three months pregnant, my mother was not speaking to me because I had disgraced her, so she wouldn’t attend.

My parents were separated when I was two, and my dad and the rest of my family were not on good terms, with him or each other.  In fact, I was worried that there would be a hostile atmosphere but everyone behaved themselves.

Dave’s family were wonderful, no recriminations just acceptance.  Neither of our families could afford to pay for a wedding so Dave and I had to bear the cost.  We had no money to do this so wanted a civil ceremony.  However, his mom wanted us to have a church wedding and we agreed.  In the mid 60’s shotgun weddings were a disgrace, so Dave’s mom would not allow me to wear white.  Being shy and obedient, I agreed to a short, blue dress which I had to buy myself.

My brother and a friend offered to take photos and car pool rides were organized to save on rentals.  The only taxi was for my dad and myself.  Dave’s grandfather was a church organist and had promised to play for us, however, he was ill at the time so recorded the music.  Foolishly, we didn’t listen to it in advance of the ceremony.

I spent the night before our wedding with Dave’s family.  The house was filled to capacity with various family members and Dave’s mom was in a flap because she didn’t want Dave to see his bride before the wedding.  A little difficult when you are sharing a breakfast table!

Dave’s sister, plus another future sister in law, and I all had hair appointments together.  The other sister in law was really self absorbed and was making lots of demands on how she wanted her hair doing for the wedding.  My stylist asked me if I was also going to the wedding and was rather shocked when I told her I was the bride, and hadn’t requested anything special.

At that time I just wanted the whole thing to be over with, I didn’t look forward to the ceremony with my dysfunctional family, who could easily turn the event into world war three.

On a rainy December morning we all headed to the church and the ceremony began.  The music started and dad and I trotted down the aisle, to Mendelssohn’s wedding music but the other recorded hymn was Fight the good Fight.  I don’t know if this was Granddad’s favourite hymn, or just his sense of humour, but the whole church was tittering.  I wasn’t amused, especially when he played an extra verse, which had no words, so we all just stood there looking silly.

When the minister had us kneel, I saw that his shoes were muddy, and that is all I could think of, plus the fact that my mom was being so awful.  I just wept throughout the ceremony and was anxious to know what the retiring hymn would be, maybe another inappropriate one.  However, we just had more Mendelssohn, so we escaped without further embarrassment.

I had made place cards for the small reception and thought long and hard about where I could sit people, so they could not argue. However, my awful family spent ages moving the cards because they wouldn’t sit next to certain people.

The whole thing was awful, nothing I care to remember.  What a difference in attitude the years have made.  Pregnant brides, or women with several children, proudly wear white, and nobody cares.

We had the lowest cost wedding we could arrange and have no happy memories of the day, just a few black and white photos of us peering through the rain.  However, the following fifty two years we have spent together have been happy, some ups and downs, of course, but through it all we have been really good friends and, isn’t that what it is all about.