Have you noticed that many parents nowadays spend very little time in teaching their children manners, but much time on defending their actions?

Children have always argued and will always continue to argue, over who is in the right, it is the way they solve problems.  However, it seems that some parents find it hard to believe that their child is ever responsible for doing the wrong thing.

To my, probably old fashioned, way of thinking we should teach our children to be responsible for their actions, from an early age.  If they do not live by the rules, there will be consequences, maybe an early bedtime, not being allowed phone or t.v. privileges or the denial of a special treat.

Surely this sort of discipline does not leave the child with lasting scars of parental abuse.  So, why then, do so many parents refuse to accept that their child is the miscreant some of the time.  I have seen some very unpleasant situations develop between parents who will not let their child accept the blame for misdeeds, even when the proof is right before their eyes.

Neither children nor adults have the right to do exactly as they please, we live in a world where all persons have to live together and learn to give and take.  If we do not do this, then animosity builds and, eventually, becomes war.  Whether this is in a school yard, the workplace or between countries, the consequences are the same.

For twelve years we owned a local motel and really witnessed some strange behaviour from the parents of visiting children.  Pool rules stated, “No children allowed in the area without a parent or guardian”.  These notices appeared in several places around our pool and hot tub.  Nevertheless, almost every day we had to chase unaccompanied children out of the pool.  Angry parents would descend on us stating that little Johnny had his life saving certificate and was allowed to swim alone.

I would point out that most kids did not want to swim up and down the pool, in an orderly fashion, but preferred to chase round the sides and jump on top of one another.  Parents needed to attend and make sure this didn’t happen.  An unbelievable amount of parents told me that there were other adults in the pool who could watch that their children were safe.  Why on earth would they think that another adult wanted to look after their children?  Also, did that adult not have the right to swim without little Johnny jumping in over their heads?

On several occasions I was told that I was being unreasonable, I answered that those were the rules, obey them or leave.  Sometimes they left and never returned, they were not missed.

When I was a kid, I was often marched back to the scene of my misdeeds and made to apologise to whomever I had sinned against.  Whether this be another child or an adult, I had to face the consequences. However, many times today I have heard parents arguing because their children have got into a dispute and both blamed the other.  Instead of staying out of it and letting the kids sort it out, some parents, with the facts from just one side of the matter, automatically assume their child is in the right and rush to their defence.

Apparently the way of thinking, in many schools is that children are never naughty …… they are behaviourally challenged.  What a load of codswallop!  Past generations have grown into responsible citizens by being chastised for misdeeds, not many of us were permanently warped by being told what we had done was wrong.  We might have been sorry that we had been caught but we knew that was part of the game.

I do not believe we are doing our children any favours by continually letting them be unaccountable for their actions.  When they go out into the real world, they have to stand alone and take responsibility.  From an early age, our children should be taught to know that consequences follow bad behaviour, this is part of the maturing process.

If they are not taught this, what kind of citizens are we rearing?