Languages of Love

Valentine’s Day is meant to be a time to express love. Cards and gifts can help to do that, but, if we try to salve our conscience by sending a card or gift in hopes of making up for shortcomings, they won’t fill the gap. In his book “The Five Love Languages” (sold 7 million copies in English alone plus many in 49 other languages), Dr. Gary Chapman claimed that most people relate best to one or two of the following five options: meaningful gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, endearing physical touches or genuine acts of service. Whether it is family, spouse, neighbor, friend or work associate, one or more of these will be particularly valued by the recipient and help to cement a positive relationship. A valentine card may be very appropriate for some situations but for others it just wouldn’t be enough. Nor does the fact that Valentine’s Day has already come mean we’ve lost the opportunity – the year ahead will present many chances.

It is not easy to determine which is the right one for the person in mind but it is worth the effort. It is even more difficult to consistently practice it, (I know that from experience) but think of what the opposite does to people. Shall we call them the five languages of hate or resentment? They would be obsessive greed, negative criticism, cold withdrawal, cruel violence and outright selfishness.

Let’s stay on the sunny side of life.
Henry Wiebe