Part 12 – THE GLASS HALF FULL
Is it just me or does everyone have two ways of looking at things?
Recently someone posted a super photo of a preying mantis on ODN. This is the most ridiculous looking thing but is also very beautiful. Great long stick arms and legs, all folded in on itself, huge bulge at one end and a tiny head at the other. They never seem to be afraid of being touched and seem to pose while they are admired and photographed. However, if they were to bite or sting, they would surely be something to be feared.
Can you imagine if they were two feet tall, we could have them as pets. We wouldn’t need to buy food, just turn them out into the garden. They wouldn’t bark, or shed, but I don’t want those long legs taking up too much room on my bed.
If a butterfly lands on our shoulder, we are thrilled. They are so beautiful with their gorgeous colours and designs. The markings are there to scare away predators, but we see them as a thing of beauty, if one of them gets into our home we try to take it out without damaging it’s wings.
Not so beautiful to our eyes is a fly. If one of them lands on us we swiftly brush it away, in disgust, and we can’t wait to shoo them out of the house or flatten them with something. In fact, they are so unwanted that we try and hit them with force. Instead of the gentle tap, which is all that is needed, we attack them with a rolled up newspaper or full force with a swatter.
Squirrels are delightful to watch and we share our food with them in an effort to bring them closer. We were recently camping in an area with dozens of them scampering about. We offered them small cobs of corn and were delighted when they sat and munched on the treat. However, can you imagine being delighted if there were rats running all over the place? We would be heading out of there promptly. Rats and squirrels are not too different except for the fur. A furry tail is so cute but a long thin tail is creepy and I am not going to offer nuts to a rat while Dave takes photos.
When we lived on the coast, one of our favourite places to go was Burnaby Mountain. It is very accessible by road, a great picnic area, a super sledding hill in winter and fantastic views of the Gulf Islands and Vancouver Island, on a clear day.
One day, as we were standing admiring the view, a car arrived and it was obviously someone showing visitors around town. One of the visitors looked out at the spectacular view and remarked “just look at all those houses”. I looked again and sure enough, there were the cities of Burnaby and Vancouver spread out in front of us. I had looked at that view dozens of times and never noticed the homes. The background view was so spectacular, that my eye didn’t take in the houses.
When my dad was alive he and my step mom came out, from England, to visit us each spring. We were fortunate to have Dave’s parents living with us so we could take our visitors on trips, while Dave’s mom kept an eye on our daughters.
One year, our trip was to the Grand Canyon and then to Disneyland. When we arrived at the Canyon, we stood at the rim looking down onto thousands of years of water erosion, which created the gorge and it’s magnificent layers and colours. We were all very quiet, awestruck at the magnitude of it all when my dad suddenly said “remind me to wash out some socks when we get to the motel”. Needless to say, the mood was broken and my step mom threatened to push him over the edge, never to be seen again.
Last year, two people at one of my social groups had an argument. As is usually the case, it was over next to nothing, but it got blown out of all proportion and caused the two people to harbour very bad feelings towards each other.
Both these people were friends of mine, but being with either one of them was really tense as they refused to end the hostility, each one of them thinking the other should apologize. The atmosphere of the whole group changed and I felt it really stressful to attend. After a couple of months of this tension, I decided to absent myself from it all and left the group.
Eighteen months later and they are still holding this grudge, neither one of them going to an event where the other may be. I find this really sad and no longer spend much time with either of them as they both seem to feel that I should make a choice over which one of them to support. This was not my battle and I took away the stress by leaving the whole group.
I honestly cannot see the value of holding onto a grudge like this, it would eat away at my soul if I was one of them, but neither one of them is prepared to look at the other’s point of view, so continue to let it fester.
Life is too short to harbour grudges. It is also too short to waste time trying to mend other people’s fences. There are so many people who make your life a happier place and they are the friends I want to be with. I like my glass to be half full and I do my best to keep it that way.