Part 11

Is it just me or do other women yearn for a bit more romance in their lives? I am not talking about hot, passionate sex, just some real “weak at the knees”, romance.

I have never been interested in reading romance novels but I get weepy every time I watch the last part of the film “Ghost”, when the ghost of Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore embrace. I know the scene is coming and I have watched it many times but, as soon as the first few notes of Unchained Melody start to play, I reach for the tissues and let the tears roll. My very unromantic husband usually spoils the mood by making loud “raspberry” noises.

Dave has never been in the least romantic. We first met when I was seventeen, he eighteen. We fell for one another in a big way and were hardly ever apart however, a few weeks after meeting him, I had my eighteenth birthday. I should have been instantly aware of his unromantic notions when he gave me a birthday card, still in the brown bag, from the store. He had not even signed his name, let alone written anything romantic. Hey, he had remembered a card, and some chocolates, what more could a girl need to sweep her off her feet?

Dave’s parents owned and operated a pet shop, selling small pets and supplies. On Saturdays they closed the shop, and went on two markets, selling their products. Neither Dave nor I worked weekends so Dave went with his dad to one market and his mom and I had a stall on a different market.

I was eighteen and cute, fussed with my hair and wore tight jeans. The area of Manchester we had our stall had quite a few black families living there and one particular guy had his eye on me. Dave’s mom and I were both tall and blonde and many people took us for mother and daughter. This guy asked mom if he could take me out. Mom explained that I was engaged and not available, but still he hung around the stall every week. One week he gave mom a gift for me, it was a lovely blue sweater. He refused to take it back and was offended at the thought of me not accepting it, so mom took the sweater and gave it to me.

I thought that Dave would be very angry at some guy giving me a sweater, so I broke it to him gently. His reaction was not to roll up his sleeves and go after the guy, instead he said, “well that saves us some money”. I was flabbergasted at his attitude, not married yet and he thought it OK for me to get presents off other guys.

One year, my birthday was approaching and I was very pregnant, he has never been very good at choosing gifts unless he is given a specific idea of what I would like. However, that year he came up with a brain wave, he bought me a coal bunker! We had coal fires at that time and we kept it in the back yard, which was a bit messy, so he thought I would be thrilled to have a nice concrete bunker, to keep everything nice and neat. Perfume would have been nice but at least the yard looked neat.

I have threatened him with divorce if he ever buys me an iron but he has come close to danger several times with his gifts. Never once, in fifty years has he bought me flowers. When I have mentioned flowers, he tells me I can buy flowers any time I like, he just doesn’t get the idea that I would like him to think of it.

We had been married for about 20 years when one Christmas he gave me a card that I will never forget. On the front were two cartoon reindeer with Santa in the background, hauling his bag of toys. One reindeer was saying to the other… “here comes old fatso with his sack full of crap”. He thought it was hilarious, I was not so thrilled. For once in my life I would like to get a card with roses and sweet nothings inside, but it is always a cartoon with a non romantic message.

I have never doubted his love for me and he will buy me anything I ask for, he just doesn’t like to buy it himself, unless I stand there and point to what I want.

In my dreams, I have always fancied myself sitting behind the wheel of a yellow convertible, hood down and hair blowing in the wind. As my hair is about three inches long, it is not going to blow anywhere and family or business has always called for a station wagon and then a mini van.

Several years ago we bought an older motor home and we were on the lookout for a small car to tow behind us. Dave bought a little, bright yellow, Tracker which is a small Jeep type of car. The spare wheel cover has a picture of Tweety bird on it, the floor mats and steering wheel cover also depict Tweety bird. People must get a jolt when they see two white haired seniors climbing out of a car, designed for a teenage girl. The top comes off so it is great for summer. Not what I had in mind but it does the job and I do get to ride behind the wheel of a yellow convertible. Who says romance is dead??