Part Four

Is it just me or do most people have complete memory blanks?

I know it is a normal part of aging but I have been having “senior moments” since I was about twenty five. I have tried to hide a lot of these silly actions but sometimes I surprise even myself.

My first noticeable event was when I was a young mom. I had a friend over for a visit and she went in my ‘fridge for milk, for her coffee. She asked me why I kept a bucket of sidewalk chalks in the fridge.

I honestly had no memory of putting the chalks in there. My children had been playing with the chalks earlier in the day but I could not think how they had got in the fridge. Being rather reticent to admit that I had a memory lapse, I told my friend that I had read that chalks were less likely to break if kept cold. This was an outright lie but I really did not want to admit that I was losing my “marbles”. In later years, I admitted the truth to her.

Over the years I have probably walked a marathon in the trips I have made to various rooms to get something. As soon as I enter the room, I forgot why I was there, I would spend a few seconds looking around, hoping to have my memory jogged, but of course it is not to be. I go back to my original place and then remember what it was I had previously forgotten. Just how much time do I waste doing these futile trips, I have no idea.

Remembering names is a nightmare. I find it so embarrassing when I can’t remember names. It is even worse when I am with someone and run into an acquaintance. How do I make an introduction? I have tried the method of just introducing the person I was originally with and hoping the new arrival will introduce herself. Name tags do not help at all, I have to put on reading glasses or stare hard at someone’s chest, to read the print. They need to be two inches tall to be readable from a distance.

One particular brain freeze happens when I boil eggs. In the catering business there is lots of demand for sandwiches, for funerals, birthday parties, etc. However, whenever I put eggs on to boil, I immediately think of something to do in another room and finish up burning the eggs, and the pan. This has become such a frequent occurrence that I now put on the kitchen timer, to remind me to check the eggs. I carry the timer with me so I do not miss the ring. For some reason, my brain doesn’t register when the timer goes off and I go happily about my chores until I notice a funny clicking noise. This noise is the eggshells bursting and leaping about on the stove as the pan burns blacker and blacker.

The ritualistic egg burning has become a bit of a joke. On more than one occasion I have burned the eggs so badly that they have leapt up to the ceiling and stuck there. On at least two occasions, the smoke in the workshop has been so thick that I cannot get to the stove to turn off the pot. I have to open the garage door, go through the garage and the adjoining bathroom and go in the workshop from that angle.

The smell is so bad that all doors have to be left open for hours, candles left to burn, and fans running none stop to get rid of the smell. One good thing about this is that the walls and ceiling get washed quite frequently, as this is the only way to completely cut the acrid smell of smoke.

The portable phone is another strain on my brain. I take it out to the yard when I am working and put it somewhere “safe”. I do not like to leave it in the direct sun, so I put it in a tree branch or on a shady rock and immediately forget it. When I finish the particular bit of weeding, I turn on the sprinkler to water the disturbed ground. I must recommend Motorola, their phones stand up quite well to a good soaking! However, they do not like coffee. I, quite recently, managed to spill an entire cup of coffee over the phone, that was sitting on the counter. I don’t know if it was the coffee or the cream but, even after being thoroughly dried, it refused to work. Dave took it apart and did things to it but no go.

Most of my mess-ups can be laughed off but, it really is no joke when your brain goes on the fritz. I secretly wonder about the horrors of Alzheimer’s, is this how it starts? Many of my friends say they have a similar problem but I am worried about putting my family through the dreadful experience of dealing with it.

However, if it gets really bad, at least I won’t remember, so I try to laugh at it while I can.