The Simple Life by Pat Whalley

Life at the Bel Air was simple because we made it be so. Our casual attitude may not have suited everyone but it suited us and many of our clients.

It was really the best time of our life and the first time that Dave and I had been alone. We had our four daughters in a big hurry, I guess it took us a while to figure out what was causing it! Anyway, four children in three years doesn’t leave much time for privacy, so our twelve years at the Bel Air were rather like a late honeymoon.

In December of 2000 we had an accident on the Hope/Princeton which left Dave with a broken shoulder and ribs and myself with a bump on the head which led to my having seizures for several months. This meant no driving for either one of us for a while. Eventually, Dave was fit to drive again but I was not allowed to due to the seizures. I found this a real inconvenience as quick trips to Penticton, to do some shopping or have lunch with a friend, were now not permitted.

My new enforcement, to stay within walking distance, really weighed heavily on me and, over the next year or two, I took a nosedive into depression. The seizures had stopped and I now experienced a constant headache, which is still a permanent companion, after fifteen years. This was a miserable state of affairs to cope with, so no wonder I felt so low. Dave was very good about taking me places and I still got to see friends for lunch but, I had lost my independence and this was very hard to accept.

I had heard about clinical depression but had not realized what a debilitating thing it was. I had no energy to do anything and I just wanted to sleep my life away. This was not possible as we still had a busy lifestyle, so I did the necessary jobs and just kept a low profile the rest of the time. It was too much trouble to put on a swimsuit and enjoy my beloved pool. Even a winter trip to Mexico could not get me out of the funk, I just sat and cried amidst all the beauty that is a Mexican resort.

I felt awful and I know Dave felt helpless, trying to deal with this person who no longer acted like his wife, so we decided to see if I could get medical help.

I remember Dave and the doctor discussing me, while I just sat there and listened to what was going to be done to help. This would normally have infuriated me as I do not have the sort of personality to let people plan out my life for me. However, I was too tired and weary to argue.

My doctor is wonderful and I really trust him and, after a while, the medication seemed to help. However, it took three years and the return of my driver’s licence to make me feel that life was maybe still worth living.

During this time, the joy had gone out of my life and I no longer felt I had the energy that running the motel and campground required. Dave was much against it but I wanted out.

We had spent the past two years subdividing an acre off the top of the property, here we intended to build our retirement home. We had had approximately 200 really old, neglected, peach trees removed and I had replanted with young shade trees. The land had been surveyed and we had jumped through a mountain of hoops to subdivide. The papers said “press hard, you are making fourteen copies.” Each one of those copies required a cheque and we spent almost $20,000 before a shovel hit the ground.

Dave was unwilling to sell the property but I decided that I would go to live in the new house and he could employ someone else to do my job. I just knew I could not handle another year. I still loved Dave but knew that I was ruining my marriage with my constant griping and negativity. However, he did not want me to move out so he tentatively listed the property with a realtor and decided to see what would happen. Over the next eighteen months I persevered with the motel and campground, feeling a bit less stressed because the place was now on the market.

I have always believed that God knows what is best for me and he proved it again by sending a couple to enquire if we would be willing to sell the motel. They had worked in the U.S. for several years and were looking for a career change.

Dave took their enthusiasm as a good sign and he agreed to the sale, however, he was worried that we would not have enough money to retire so early, we were fifty six, and the idea of having to work for an hourly wage was not something he was prepared to do. I thought he would refuse to sign the legal papers as he was so worried about our future.

In the past I had lots of experience with commercial catering, and Dave hit on the idea of starting our own catering company. Once we decided upon this plan, we both got into the frame of mind that it would work and I felt a new enthusiasm for life.

Dave built a commercial kitchen at the side of our new home and, from there, we run our business. It has been extremely successful and we will continue doing this for as long as we are able. We both enjoy doing this and the money we earn provides us with the opportunity to travel several times a year. We have done this for thirteen years and hope to be able to do it for several more.

We still live the simple life and just love our home. We feel like we are in the middle of the country but we are a two minute walk to the shops. Life is good, my garden is my heaven and my church. Here I talk over problems with God, he listens but sometimes doesn’t answer quite as fast as I would like.

I still take my “happy pills” and, probably always will. Depression doesn’t seem to be a thing that is cured, just helped along with medication. It takes very little to knock me off balance for no apparent reason. The constant headache is low key but any loud conversation or music and I start to feel nauseous as my head feels ready to explode. This has put quite a limit on my social life but I still have some wonderful friends who are happy to share quieter events.

Friends are welcome any time as long as they take us as they find us. I do not believe in killing myself dusting, it is a comfy home, we have two dogs and an old cat who live on the furniture, why shouldn’t they, they are our family. What more could I ask for, this is truly the simple life.

The end

Editors note – thanks to Pat

All of us wish Pat well in dreaming up some more adventure stories for ODN readers