VISITORS FROM ABROAD

GROWING UP WITH GRANDMA….BY PAT WHALLEY

Grandma had one sister and two brothers, they had been very close as children but her sister had met a young man and they had decided to get married and go to live in America. At that time this usually meant they were never to be seen again as visiting between the two countries was a very difficult and expensive journey.

One of grandma’s brothers had been killed in action, leaving Great uncle Charlie as the eldest of the remaining three. He was against his sister Mary going to the great unknown and, apparently, told her she would be disowned if she went. I guess the love of her husband was greater than the threat so she packed up and left. Although she kept in regular contact with her family, in England, her brother never wrote or spoke to her again.

Mary and her husband James settled down in Seattle where he was employed by the Seattle newspaper as he was a typesetter by trade. They raised a family of one daughter and one son. The son was born with one leg shorter than the other and, when he was just a small boy, it was suggested he go to England where he could get better medical treatment. So, Mary and two children crossed the ocean while Jim continued to work in Seattle.

I don’t think the treatment worked as Ed had a permanent limp, but the first world war broke out during their visit and they were stuck, for the duration of the war, in England, finally managing to return home on a troops carrier, where they had to stay shut up in their cabin for the entire trip.

During that time my mom and Mary’s daughter Pearl, became friends, as they were almost the same age. When they returned to Seattle, the friendship lasted by writing. During the second war, Mary sent frequent care packages to grandma and these were shared amongst the whole family. However, there were no other visits until the late fifties.

Gt. cousin Pearl and her eighteen year old daughter, Gail, were to come for six weeks visit. This caused the family to argue amongst themselves as to where the visitors would stay. My mother’s house was chosen, probably because she was the bossiest and most insistent. By this time I was twelve years old and had moved back to my mother’s home. However, I was packed back off to grandma’s to make room for the VIP’s.

My mother worked full time, so on the day of the arrival, I was to go to my mom’s house after school, to await the visitors and entertain them until my mother’s return from work. The two of them arrived, in a rental car, with much luggage and many gifts for their new family members. I was rather overawed at their clothing and their matching luggage and thought they seemed awfully rich. I had only heard American accents on the movies so I was bewitched when Pearl called her daughter dohhlll. My mother had several forms of address for me but “doll” wasn’t one of them.

Looking back, I wonder just what these people thought of our home. It was spotlessly clean, my mom had made sure of that, but I can imagine how tiny it must have seemed to them. In later years I visited them in Washington and was amazed at the luxury in which they lived. Pearl’s husband was one of the directors of Monsanto Chemicals and travelled in high circles, so their tour around our home with no bathroom, no fridge, no dishwasher, no hot waster or laundry facilities must have been quite daunting to people who were used to having all these things at the tip of their fingers. However, Pearl’s mother had been brought up in similar circumstances so she must have been aware of how things were.

The thing they must have felt strangest about was the use of the chamber pot. This was a staple of every bedroom in homes without an indoor toilet so, carrying it downstairs and outside to the toilet to empty and disinfect it, was part of our daily life. However, they never seemed to need to use the one in their bedroom. It was only in later years, when we really got to know one another that my cousin told me that she was sent downstairs in the early hours, to do the necessary deed and return the pot upstairs, before anyone else woke up.

Whatever they thought, they were wonderful people and made us feel loved and special. Gail was the only child of their family and so she must have been amazed at the amount of cousins she had when they all arrived to visit. They had rented a small car but once they heard about the Sunday walk that our family always did, they squeezed grandma and at least five or six kids in with them to get to our usual family picnic area. The rest of us walked with the latest baby in a pram. Pearl insisted on renting chairs for everyone and also insisted on buying everyone cups of tea and scones. Such luxury!

Everyone went back to gran’s afterward for Sunday tea where people sat on anything from arms of chairs to the piano stool and the kitchen step ladder. This was repeated every Sunday until they left.

When I was sixteen, Pearl talked my mother into going to live in Seattle, with them. My mother and I had never had a close relationship as I always thought of grandma as my mother, so I refused to go. I went back to live with grandma and mom went to Seattle. Gail was still at home at the time but got married shortly afterwards, so Pearl, her husband and my mom made their life together.

This was to be a fortunate turn of events as, shortly afterwards, Pearl’s husband died very suddenly, of cancer. My mother and Pearl shared their senior years together for many years and were the very best of friends.

I was married at nineteen and ten years later, with husband and four little girls, moved to Canada where Gail and I grew to be like sisters. We still are and visit one another often.

Gail has many tales of her grandma who, after living in Seattle for many years, never lost her Lancashire accent or the use of many English terms. Our grandma’s were sisters and now, so are we. I believe that both the old ladies are keeping an eye on our activities, not always agreeing with our choices, but none the less, thrilled that their granddaughters are so close.

I myself am a very fortunate to have a wonderful, loving husband, we are parents of four lovely daughters and grandparents to nine grandchildren. I hope that my grandkids think of me with just a little bit of the love I had for my wonderful grandma. Recently, we had our first great grandchild. I do not feel old enough for the title of great grandma but hope to see this new little boy grow into a fine young man. Grandma would have approved.

THE END