In possession of all his ‘facilities’

The suspect’s defense lawyer in an impaired driving trial asked a Traffic police officer who was testifying in a packed courtroom, if he’d provided his client with an opportunity to use the facilities. When the police officer tried to be discreet in his answer, the judge instead instructed him to offer a full description. The police officer then described how the defendant had to use the wall to steady himself, but swayed so much that he urinated on two different urinals and the wall. When the laughter in the courtroom died down the defense lawyer simply said, No more questions your honor.

Should have listened to his wife

A traffic team was working on a roadblock on the Lougheed Hwy. A van pulled up with a male driver, who smelled of liquor. Police administered an Approved Screening Device (ASD) test, and the driver blew a FAIL. As the traffic officer was explaining the process to the driver, a woman in a taxi claiming to be his wife showed up. However, the man was alone in his van, and had not made any calls while police were dealing with him. The mystery was solved when the woman told the traffic officer she had been with her husband at a party. She then said to her husband, I told you that you had drunk too much, and to take the taxi with me!

Burning up

One recent Halloween night in the Lower Mainland, a driver sat intoxicated in his car, while his vehicle’s engine burned. The public tried to help him before police showed up, but the driver was too intoxicated to realize the danger and refused to exit his car. Members of the public stepped in – at their own risk, to pull the driver from the vehicle. When police arrived the driver was too intoxicated to blow. Nonetheless he was charged with Care and Control of a Motor Vehicle While Impaired, and the public who assisted him were given a police commendation.

Is this the highway?

A constable was sitting in his marked police car pulled over on the shoulder of Hwy. 99, north of Squamish. A vehicle pulled up beside him in the slow lane, and the driver stopped, rolled down her passenger window, asked the constable where the highway was. The constable asked her to pull in front of his police car, and the driver again asked where the highway was, and stated she was trying to get from Vancouver to Squamish. She had just driven over 20 kms northbound on the highway, looking for the highway, and a town she had already passed.

Warning didn’t do much

A male driver pulled up to a roadblock, and was cocky and nonchalant about the check, despite having the odor of liquor on his breath. Police administered an ASD test, and the driver blew a FAIL. The driver was then offered a second ASD test, and blew a second FAIL. Upon learning about the FAIL results (seizing driver’s license, 90-day driving prohibition, vehicle impoundment) the driver became very irate, and let loose with a barrage of insults. The last thing he said before getting in his taxi was that he was going to fight the IRP and win. His reason… apparently last week he had also been drinking, but had only blown a WARN. As it transpired, he had been issued a three day driving prohibition just six days earlier by another member of the same Traffic team.

Across BC the RCMP will be out in full force at Counter Attack road checks this holiday season, looking for drivers under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Police encourage everyone to make a plan before they head out to holiday festivities.